I strongly oppose a boycott, for several reasons. First, if we're going to boycott Utah, should we also steer clear of California, the majority of whose voters supported Proposition 8, or Arizona and Florida, whose voters passed similar measures? And is it also okay to punish the many in Utah who work in travel and tourism and who oppose Proposition 8, including a number of gay-supportive Mormons and gay Utahns (despite popular stereotypes, there are many who fall into either - and sometimes both - camps)? Should we also boycott the very liberal city of New Haven, Connecticut, which is headquarters of the Knights of Columbus, the largest organizational donor behind Proposition 8? What about all the states out there that had already passed legislation banning gay marriage, or that permit employment and housing discrimination based on sexual orientation?
Again I come back to the Petraeus doctrine: Among the different factions out there who campaigned on behalf of Proposition 8, each of these groups consists of both reconcilables and irreconcilables. Applying one broad strategy against all Mormons...or Catholics...or Utahns...is unhelpful - you alienate your potential future allies while giving your enemies - the inexorable extremists - exactly what they want.
Punishing extreme opponents of gay rights by refusing to go where they live is akin to ants protesting unfair treatment from humans by refusing to show up at any more picnics. This is what the far-right wants us to do - be silenced, go away, stop ruining their picnics.
I have a better idea: be visible, be counted, and keep traveling, whether it's to a Utah ski resort or the Knights of Columbus fundraiser down the street. In so doing, you continue to spread good will among our allies, and to sway those many reconcilables potentially willing to switch sides and support the right to gay marriage. Your visibility also reminds extreme irreconcilables that they're waging a mean-spirited, unjust battle that they will eventually lose.
Proposition 8 passed by a 52% majority. The anti-gay measures in Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida secured 56%, 57%, and 62% of the vote, respectively. The next time these measures appear on ballots - and they will - how are each of us going to help erase these margins?
Passionate, spirited protests like those staged over the past week throughout California and in many other U.S. cities should continue to be part of the strategy - this is where we find a positive outlet for our anger, and although these events may steel the resolve of irreconcilables, they go a long way toward raising awareness and garnering media attention.
Anger, however, is not by itself an effective strategy. We also need to identify the so-called fence-sitters, and engage with them directly and respectfully.
Where will we find the half-million Californians whose support we need to win any future ballot initiatives concerning gay marriage? The answer lies right before us - during our upcoming vacations with family and friends, at our neighborhood parties and office gatherings, at our high school and college reunions, in the many progressive places of worship that welcome us, on our Facebook and MySpace pages, and in the hotels, restaurants, shops, and ski resorts of Utah and every other red and blue state in America.
If you never thought your sexual orientation was anybody's business other than your own, maybe it's time to rethink that policy - and to let your support of gay marriage be known to the majority of reasonable, fair Americans who, if we let them, will join us in our campaign to pass rational and just laws that secure the civil rights of all citizens, regardless of skin color, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation.
